Yoga.  I am very passionate when it comes to yoga.  I am a student as well as a teacher.  I was teaching this past Saturday.  A student asked me why I practice yoga and I let them know it was primarily for spiritual purposes.  They proceeded to inform me that they dreaded coming to class at times.  Ashtanga yoga was a workout. Often they saw no means to an end.  I was alarmed. I found myself trying to explain my view. I offerred them book references.  They were staring at me as if I had 2 heads.  I came to yoga 15 years ago.  I was transitioning back from Nyc.  I was just released from the hospital after a suicide attempt.  I was restrained for a month and a half.  I had nothing.  The love of my life was up in the air, I let go of my job and all that I knew for the past 6 years.  My mother was temporarily in charge of all my money and my keys.  I was attending day treatment.  They picked me up at 9 am and I spent my days with the mentally ill  I was empty.  The only thing keeping me alive was the wide array of pharmaceuticals  that I shoved down my throat each day.  One of them being navane a strong anti psycotic that made me numb to the world.  The only joy I found was swallowing large quantities of nyquil on a regular basis.  That I would buy on my regular day trips to the drugstore.  I was obsessed with my skin.  I often purchased new moisturizers and things of that nature.   My only social life was AA  which I attended daily.  That is a whole other story. I was dead inside.  I stumbled upon a yoga class in the newspaper one  evening.   I was interested in that and tai chi.  I signed up for both.  The tai chi instructor freaked me out a bit.  We would spend a lot of time juggling.  Yes, juggling.  The yoga class was soothing.  It sank right in.  My instructor was going to visit an ashram in Virginia.  I was asked to go with her,.  I did.  At that point in my life I would go anywhere on a whim.  One of the very reasons my mother was in charge of my money.  So I did not disappear.  We went to Virginia and did yoga.  I slept in a tent for three days.  I did not want to return.  The people I met were ageless.  A women read my palms and told me there was a blockage which I in turn took to be my medication.  I resented it.  I resented everything and everyone.  I felt alone.  I wanted peace of mind and I could not see it in the very near future.  I could not see 5 feet in front of me.  I just skipped all over the place.  I'll touch back later.