chicago

I was talking to someone about Chicago.  I do not like Chicago.  I spent the worst year of my life there.  How did I get there?  I visited a girl from Chicago when i was 15.  We were penpals for quite a few years and we felt it was time to meet.  It became a yearly thing. I went there. She came here.  She visited me in Nyc.  Then there was a lapse in time.  She came across country, drove and visited me in Massachusetts shortly after my first suicide attempt.  I was all numbed up   .  Enjoyed her stay.  We made plans for me to visit the following month.  So I did.   We enjoyed each others company.  She had a boyfriend who was in the midst of discovering his true self.  He was having a hard time.  She had a boyfriend on the side too!  Mike was his name.  The first time I met Mike something clicked between us.  I showed him how I could wrap my legs around my neck .  He showed me how to snort ecstasy and play video games and listen to headphones all at the same time.  It was deep lol!!  We all went to a party.  Ginger was dressed up as a geisha girl, I was a vampire, it was halloween as you might suspect.  Ginger was wearing no underwear and was high as a kite.  Flashing herself about the room.  I spent most of my time in the other room with the nitrous oxide .  When we left that evening we all decided it was high time we got better aquainted.  Ginger was fucked up.  She decided to call her boyfriend and go home.  That was the last time I ever saw here.  I was caught up in the ropes of drug addiction.  I stayed at Mike's.  I extended my stay 2 more weeks.  Snorted ecstasy, played video games and listened to music day in and day out.  Mike was a dealer.  I went home and planned for another trip in a month.  Went back and decided I would apply to school in Chicago...leave nyc behind and move.  Bad choice.  I was accepted into Loyola.  A Jesuit University.  I traveled in a uhaul...the whole time passed out on Somas...I vaguely remember the trip.  I arrived at the apt.  Went upstairs and did a couple lines of heroin.  Later that night we went out to some friends and spent the night doing cocaine and playing pool.  That was the norm that summer.  School started.  I attended... Fully wrapped up in heroin once again... living in a one room rooming house in between apts  racking up an expensive habit.. We bought and sold.   I did this for 5 months then I had to leave for awhile because I owed a dealer money. In the meantime we moved.  When I got back we settled in to our new place and went to Arizona to clean up and hide out.  We spent some time there.  I did not  go back to school.  I went back to the most miserable, deep  depression I have ever experienced.  I kept waking up day after day thinking it would lift.  The sun would shine.  I never changed my clothes, I didn't eat.  I did pills and drugs when I could get my hands on them.  I was anti social.. Did not get along with my roomates  .Had little money.  Not enough to leave and I was sick of Mike.  I missed Nyc.  Finally my mother scraped some money to get me out.  I left.  Only to return 6 months later to make plans to move to Arizona.  Unfortunately after 2 months on methadone and a trip to the psych unit and a full detox.  I was wrapped up in heroin again.  I went back for drugs.  The final time I left there I used for 3 months then got a job at a farm.